Anonymous asked: So, this may be kind of long/annoying; I apologize in advance. Anyways, I've subbed before, like, a lot. Then I was in a realtionship with an abusive dom, so I quit the scene for a while. When I got back into it, I decided to try domming for myself (the gentle, loving type, of course... not the abusive type). Anyways, I strongly, strongly prefer domming, to the point that I really don't think I ever truly was a sub. Am I a switch, dom, or am I just lying to myself because I was abused?
So many people think that you are either Sub or Dom for life, but that is just not true, just as anything in life you progress and discover things about yourself and some of your likes and dislikes change as you get older, its the same in this way too. If you love Doming now…then you are a Dom. sometimes you don’t know what you are unless you try it out.
Sometimes our experiences do mold our development in this area, I hate to hear you were in a terrible abusive relationship, but I am glad that you discovered the difference between BDS&M and abuse and were able to get out of it and move forward that is a wonderfully brave thing to do…. and you sound like an excellent Dom as well.
This is why I feel it so important to educate those in the Kink scene, and try to spread this info around..its very important!